January 18, 2006
The first novel I ever read was Animal Farm and shortly thereafter, I read another book, S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. It quickly became my all-time favorite (of the two books that I had actually read). While I liked Orwell’s talking animals, Hinton’s largely all-male world of parentless, tough, hip, and good-looking teen boys made my twelve-year old heart beat a little faster. Perhaps it was the idea of juvenile delinquents reading Gone with the Wind to each other, or maybe it was that tender utterance of the two most famous words in young adult fiction: "Stay golden." But I think it was probably the names: Pony Boy. Soda Pop. Now those were names to fall in love with.
The Outsiders, however, was not all cool names, Margaret Mitchell, and homoeroticism. I remember being barely able to turn the page when a member of a menacing group of Socs asked Pony Boy: "Need a haircut, greaser?" The “medium blond” who posed this question was sexy and dangerous and you just knew that something awful was going to happen.
As intriguing as the boys and violence were, I think what resonated most with me was the title: The Outsiders. As a gay twelve-year old I wasn’t able to truly understand what it was I was beginning to feel for other boys, but I was very much aware that it made me an outsider. Socs were the heterosexuals of my world, the ones with a privilege that I doubt I could have articulated at the time. It didn’t make much difference that I was on the basketball team or that I snuck cigarettes with friends, that wall of difference was still there and getting higher every day. I longed to join a group like the greasers Pony Boy hung out with, a gang of guys who not only looked out for each other, but also dated each other.
The point, I suppose, of The Outsiders is that we all experience pain, whether we are a Soc or a Greaser. And I hope, that in the midst of whatever pain life may send our way, all of us -- whether gay or straight -- have someone to encourage us to "Stay golden."
(Originally published in the ISO Calendar of Days)
